Saying athletes have a reputation for being good with money is like saying CBS has a knack for catering to the under-70 demographic. From Gilbert Arenas owning a shark tank to Eddy Curry spending over $1,000 monthly on cable to Mike Tyson’s infamous tiger habit. Philadelphia 76ers center Dwight Howard is in serious danger of falling into this infamous category as he is allegedly on the hook for $50,000 in unpaid wages to two women who took care of his snake collection.
As if Howard was not odd enough, he has an infatuation with snakes, made public by his appearance on the Animal Planet show Tanked, where the hosts made Howard a “snake mansion.” There are few phrases on this earth I would deem more ridiculous than “snake mansion.” Just imagine listing that under your homeowner’s insurance, “well, J.K. Simmons, I have the cars…a nice watch…oh and my snake mansion.”
According to a report from TMZ, Armica Nabaa and Kamisha Shelman, the former of which’s name I said out loud and my furniture started floating, Howard hired them in Dec. 2018 for “professional management services.” I suppose Howard went with “professional management services” as anyone responding to “I want you to tend to my snake mansion” is probably not someone you trust in your house unsupervised. According to a Sports Illustrated story from two years ago, the NBA big man has over 20 snakes.
Howard fired his gardener, butler, and maid, according to the women, forcing Nabaa and Shelman to cover the responsibilities in the 35,000-square-foot house. This past January, the two women were fired by Howard, with significant unpaid wages, per the lawsuit.
If the lawsuit has merit, there is one of two explanations: either he did not want to pay or he could not pay. I don’t want to talk about the former, as then it would just lead to a lot of bad “slithering out of” and “snaking” puns that I am certain The New York Post already used. If it’s the latter reason, well, that’s far worse. Spotrac lists the 35-year-old’s career earnings at $242,500,792 from just basketball alone. It’s kind of hard to spend that kind of coin unless, ya know, you buy 35,000-square-foot houses and buy custom-made snake mansions.