Welcome back to another installment of the Quirken Loans Gambling Corner, a place where we laugh, we cry, and we make money. How are we doing on that last portion you may ask? On the year? Great. Last week? Well, let’s just let the following video describe how my, and most bettors I’ve seen on social media, weekend went with gambling.
Yeah. In the word’s of the incomparable Pete Campbell, “not great, Bob!” But hey, every legend has a rough patch or two. Let’s not forget when LeBron James allowed JJ Barea to boss him around in the 2011 NBA Finals, or Rory crumbling in Augusta annually, or Brett Favre opting for a flaccid penis pic to go out on the wire. Even the greats slip up. So with that said, I’ll let Coach dictate where we go from here.
The bonus picks by-and-large have been an absolute wrecking ball for bookies. This week, there’s some additional flavor to pepper out despite losing a couple to Covid postponements. So before I get to the meaty Gamblin’ Dans picks, here are a couple bonus picks to wet your whistle this Turkey Day:
- Coastal Carolina -17 vs Texas State. The Fancy Birds backdoor covered for us a week ago on a pick six and I am forever grateful. Hell, we shouldn’t be surprised as they have missed just one cover all year. They have a date with Liberty next week, but travel to just a terrible Bobcat team this week. TSU is 2-9 and have not won a home game all year. Take CCU and the cover.
- TCU and Kansas O52.5. The Jayhawks have allowed 169 points in their last three games combined. They’ve gone over on every total so far this year, and in each game, they have surpassed the 52.5 number. The Horned Frog offense is not stellar this year, but Gary Patterson will punish this defense.
- Cardinals -2.5 vs Patriots. Kliff Kingsbury was drafted by these same Patriots and now has a week-and-a-half to prepare coming off a Thursday night game. The Pats let me down last week, but more importantly they let themselves down by losing to the hopeless Texans. Kyler Murray is fun and this is at least a field goal win. It’s too juicy to pass up on. Lay ’em with Coach Handsome.
Clemson -24 vs Pitt
Both of these teams are just horrible at covering numbers so far this year, so yes, this big of a number should and could scare me. Trevor Lawrence has not played in a month and Pittsburgh is fresh off of a pair of 20+ point wins over Florida State and Virginia Tech. That lack of respect for the Panthers is an absolute trap set by Vegas. Clemson is angry after the poor showing against BC paired with the loss to Notre Dame further paired with the controversial postponement in Tallahassee. They’re going to do one of those “ALL ‘FAMBLY’ US ‘GAINST THE WORL'” Clemson things and smoke Pitt. Give me one cat over the other cat, CU rolls.
Ole Miss -9.5 vs Mississippi State
Speaking of angry teams, here we have the Egg Bowl. Ole Miss has lost the last two Egg Bowls in one of the more vitriolic rivalries in college football. Elijah Moore, famous for the Piss and Miss a year ago in this game, has helped the Rebels win back-to-back blowouts with over 200+ yards receiving in each game. Ole Miss also gets safety Otis Reese cleared for his first game action after a lengthy transfer process from UGA. Add that to the fact that the Rebels felt they had a chance at a marquee win over an A&M team that postponed their game last week following two positive tests, and you have a lot of aggression built up. That won’t serve well for a Bulldog team with less than 50 scholarship players left due to transfers and opt-outs, who have already lost five of their last six. Rebels win big.
Seahawks -5.5 vs Eagles
I’m going to keep this simple. The Eagles are really bad and cannot score the football. Think to yourself, who scares you on The Bang Bang Bird Gang? No, think about that Seahawks offense with Russell Wilson, DK Metcalf, and Co.? Five of Seattle’s seven wins this year have covered 5.5 points while just two of Philly’s six losses have covered 5.5. Give me the West Coast Birds on extra rest to give us a snoozer next Monday. Snoozers are good for laying ’em, Seahawks win it by at least a touchdown.
Dolphins -7 vs Jets
What in the hell was Brian Flores thinking on Sunday? What a brutal loss by Miami to lose pace in the AFC Playoff hunt, but they get a heavy dose of rebounding against a trash Jets team that should do the trick. Sure, New York has played better the last couple of weeks with Joe Flacco, covering against New England and the Chargers in close losses. This was 24-0 last time they played, and I just can’t see a way Gang Green can score here against this defense. I expect much of the same from the last time. Take the sea mammals.
WHAMMY: Iowa -13.5 vs Nebraska
Who in the hell pissed off the Hawkeyes? After starting 0-2 with a four-point loss to the Purdue Ghostly Pale Engineering Students and by one to the Northwestern Ivy League Safety Schools, they’ve blown out their last three opponents Michigan State (49-7), Minnesota (35-7), and Penn State (41-21). On the other side, Nebraska is not as back as their fans had hoped as they limp in from a 41-23 loss to Illinois. Yeah, the team with the least creative mascot in college sports who is best known for being good at basketball 15 years ago. That team. At home. Iowa has won the last five meetings between these two, and their defense and running game will be just too much. It’s been a charmed life for me in the Whammy’s, losing just one all year, and this week should be no different. You know what to do.