Miami on James Harden’s Preferred List, Per Reports; Strip Clubs Rejoice

Following last month’s announcement that Houston Rockets GM Daryl Morey was stepping down from his role, Rockets star guard James Harden is reportedly seeking a way out of town. According to a report from Clutch NBA, the 2018 NBA MVP and all-around thicc boi has three destinations in mind.

The 76ers making the list is no surprise as that is Morey’s new digs as the president of basketball operations, and also arguably the offering the biggest yield if he does indeed get dealt as they could include a young star in Ben Simmons. Brooklyn, of course, has trade-bait-du-jour Caris LeVert to build an offer around, and could become explosive on both the court and the locker room as they would navigate a lineup with Harden, Kevin Durant, and Kyrie Irving.

Miami could be the most intriguing in the mix. First, they have a ton of money coming off the books by way of horrific contracts. Second, star forward Jimmy Butler’s second-preferred team last offseason was reportedly the Rockets, meaning he may be interested in teaming with Harden. Third, they have cheap and budding talent that helped them win the Eastern Conference a month ago, some of which would head back to Texas in the deal.

Even more interesting is how in God’s name Harden in Miami would work. It must be mentioned once again that he is a notorious chonk, and Erik Spoelstra has some of the most intense conditioning tests in the league. How is that going to work after Hardon hammers a bag full of torticas de moron before workouts?

Photo credit: @JustRyCole on Twitter

On the court, Miami is interesting as they have some great ball movement that allows for open looks for the likes of Tyler Herro, Duncan Robinson, and Jae Crowder. One can only imagine how deadly the penetrate-and-kick sets could be with Harden in the lineup. Though, the court is not the only place The Beard likes to shoot his shot. Take a look for yourself at the greatest investigative journalism of the 21st Century.

The author concludes with statistical significance that Harden plays worse in towns with excellent strip club scenes. I don’t know if you know much about Miami or not, but there may be more strip clubs in Date County than there are iguanas. Numbers like that would have Pat Riley begging for another bubble to keep his new acquisition focused.

It’s too early to know at this point if Harden really wants out, and if he does, where he will end up. All I know is if he does in fact join the Miami Heat, Foxxy Lady on 79th Street is going to be bigger than Microsoft.

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